Hurting inside
by jipsification
Summary: Yuuri arrives in Shin Makoku after the worst experience he ever had to make. His body and soul are hurting. Will Wolfram be able to help Yuuri heal? Warning: Story contains angst and mentions of rape. Don t read it, if this triggers you. The story will be about Yuuris slow healing process, comfort and love blossoming in between all of this.
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING** : This story contains angst and mentions of rape. Don´t read it, if something like this triggers you. This story will be about comfort and a slow healing process.

Disclaimer: I don´t own Kyou Kara Maou and its characters. Copyrights remains with its creators, Temari Matsumoto for the light novels and Japan Broadcasting Company for the anime franchise.

 **Yuuri POV**

~~~Shin Makoku - Blood Pledge Castle~~~

It hurts. It hurts so bad.

"Yuuri?".

Wolf. That is Wolfs voice.

The first tear streams down my cheek.

"Yuuri, what is wrong?".

I can´t see.

Everything hurts.

My eyes won´t open.

It hurts so bad.

"Heika?". Conrads voice.

"Daddy?". Greta.

"Günther, please bring Greta to her room". Conrad.

"Daddy, are you hurt?" Greta again. Her voice seems desperate.

"Günther!", Conrad again.

"Daddy?... Daddy!", he voice seems to come from more and more of a distance.

Something touches my arm.

I flinch, start to tremble without wanting to.

Everything hurts. Everything.

"Yuuri?", Wolfs voice seems to have a desperate tone.

"W... W...", I can´t speak.

The words refuse to leave my mouth.

I think I taste blood in my mouth.

"Fuck, what happened to you?", now Wolfs voice is panicked.

Conrad screams some commands. I think he tells them to get Gisela.

My heart races. I feel like I can´t get air. My chest feels constricted. And everything hurts... It hurts so bad. I can´t... Why?

...

Why?

WHY?!

My thoughts run through my head to fast to even identify them. And it hurts... hurts so much.

I smell something. It´s soothing. As soothing a something can be right now. Sun and roses. Wolf.

"It´s alright Yuuri. You´re safe now. I won´t let anyone hurt you", Wolf says.

I can´t keep myself together anymore.

"They already did!... THEY... ALREADY... DID!", I scream.

Tears stream down my face.

I can´t open my eyes. I want to see him. Want to scream into his face. Want to see him. I need him.

He gasps.

Something on my arm again. I shiver uncontrollably. It hurts. It feels like something is burning my skin. It hurts so bad. I move my arm to get the feeling to stop.

Don´t touch me! I don´t want this! Don´t touch me! No!

"Yuuri, it´s me that is touching you. You don´t need to be scared".

Wolf.

I cry even harder.

"Wolf", is all that I can say.

I want to say so much. Want to scream. Want to yell that this is unfair. That everything hurts. I don´t want to be... Fuck...

"Yes, it´s me Yuuri. I´m at your side. You don´t need to be scared", he whispers.

"Wolf", I cry his name again.

I reach out to him. I need Wolf. I need him. My best friend. My soldier. My protector. My fiance. My...

Something warm touches my hands. Ah.. Hands.

"I need you to get him out of the pond and lay him down here".

Giselas voice.

"Yuuri, we need to move you". Conrads voice.

My eyes hurts so much. I want to open them. It hurts.

Something on my shoulders.

"NO!", I scream and throw myself to the side. I hit something hard with my chest. A horrifying sound. Ouch!

"I´m so sorry, Heika", Conrad apologizes.

"Yuuri". Wolf.

"Do you trust me, Yuuri?".

I don´t know. I don´t know if I´m able to trust anymore. Everything hurts.

"I will take your hand now, okay?", he asks.

Wolf...

It´s Wolf. Wolf is... save. Maybe the only save thing.

I nod.

Something touches my hand.

"This is my hand. Can you grab it and try to get up?", Wolf asks.

I grab his hand and pain shoots through my every nerve. But I can take this. Wolf wants me to move. I give it my best shot at standing up, but my lower body region explodes in pain and I sink back.

More tears. Maybe they never stopped.

"Can´t Wolf", I whisper.

He hushes me.

"It´s alright, Yuuri. I will take care of you", he says.

I cry even harder.

I..

I feel something soothing on my skin, soft, nice.

"Yuuri? Yuuri stop!", he screams. His voice sounds panicked.

But I feel finally somewhat safe. Like no one can touch me right now.

"Yuuri, you need to stop! You won´t be able to breathe like that!", he screams.

What?

Suddenly something hard around me. Someone holding me. I panic. No! Not again! No! No! No! NO! Stop! I don´t want this! No! Stop! No! My heart beats so fast. No... Stop!

"Yuuri. It´s me. Stop!", Wolfs voice sounds like it is far away.

"Trust me my love!", he says.

The soothing feeling disappears and only the hard grip of someone remains.

No... No... Make it stop...

"I have you wimp. I have you", Wolfs voice in my ear.

Can´t breathe.

"I have you, Yuuri. Breathe. Come, let´s breathe together. In... Out... In... Out...", I only listen to his voice.

I comply.

"You are doing great, love", he whispers.

I´m definitely in his arms right now. This has to be Wolf. He smells like Wolf, talks like Wolf, feels like Wolf. Wolf is save. I´m save.

"Lord of Bielefeld. It seems like he is calming down a little. Could you try to carry him here?", Gisela asks.

"Yuuri, I will carry you now", Wolf says.

I don´t care.

As long as Wolf is with me, I don´t care.

Wolf is save.

I feel him move. He carries me. I feel an explosion of pain. I scream.

More movement, before he squats down and places me on something soft. He tries so let go of me. I grab his clothes with every force that I still have.

"No... don´t leave. Don´t leave... Wolf...", I whimper.

Something touches my hair.

"I won´t leave you. I will help Gisela move you to the hospital ward", Wolf says with a soft voice.

"Don´t leave me, Wolf", I whisper.

I can´t lose my only safe haven.

"I won´t my love", he responds.

I hear some voices, can´t really make out what they say.

More movement.

Everything hurts. It hurts so much.

"Wolf?", I ask.

I want to make sure that he is still here. Once again, I try desperately to open my eyes. Impossible.

"Yes?", he answers.

"Stay with me", I whisper.

"I will", he responds.

"Wolf?", I ask again.

"Yes?".

"It hurts so bad".

I hear something like a whimper.

"I know, my love. We will start the healing as soon as we reach the hospital ward".

I want to tell him, that he can´t stop the pain, but...

I´m at the end of my strength.

"Don´t leave me", I slur once more before losing consciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~comments~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, I would love to get some feedback from you guys. So let me know what you think. This story will be about hurt and healing and love blossoming in between. See you soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **Wolfram POV**

~~~Shin Makoku - hospital ward~~~

I´m sitting on a chair at Yuuris side. He is still unconscious.

I still can´t believe that this is happening...

I felt the presence of Yuuris power two hours ago. He wasn´t supposed to come back from Earth this early. And something felt different about his power. I couldn´t really pinpoint what exactly changed, but... I knew something was up. I left the meeting that I was in, immediately and made my way to the pond. I just knew, that he would be there. I don´t know why.

As soon as I saw him I freezed. His clothes were destroyed, more holes than actual clothes. His cheeks were blue. His eyes swollen. Blood in the left corner of his mouth. Blood running down from somewhere above his right ear. His hair was sullied with blood too. His whole body was covered in bruises.

And he was shivering.

"Yuuri?", I asked.

He turned his head to my direction immediately. It looked like he tried to open his eyes but couldn´t do it. No wonder. His eyes were swollen so much. They will be black and blue soon. A tear left his eyes. And other tears followed. He didn´t stop to cry. And he didn´t stop to tremble. He tried to avoid my touches. He tried to escape Wellers touch so much, that he threw himself away from him. I think I heard his rip break, when he hit the stone.

And then he summoned his magic and build a sort of bubble around him. I feared so much, that he couldn´t breathe. I was so freaking scared.

This is my worst nightmare. What happened to him? Why wasn´t I at his side? I wanted to protect him.

Always.

Shit. I failed.

Yuuri shifts a little next to me. He moans with a deep voice. He shifts again, gets more and more fidgety. Still sleeping.

"No", he whispers.

"No... no... stop. Please stop! No", he says.

His voice indicates begging. He pleads.

"It hurts. Stop! Stop!".

My heart aches so much. My love, what have you gone through?

"Stop! Please".

Yuuri starts to tremble.

"Wolf!", he screams.

I wake from the horror that made me unable to move.

Automatically I reach out to him, pat his head.

He flinches. His hands go up to push my hand away.

Yuuri whimpers.

"Wake up, Yuuri", I say with a firm voice.

He shivers.

"Yuuri!", I say with a louder voice.

He needs to wake up.

His begging doesn´t stop.

"No... please... no".

"Yuuri!", I scream.

Shit I panic. I´m close to losing control. I just want to wake him up from his nightmares...

"Yuuri!".

He opens his eyes. His gaze searches the room immediately. He sits up in an instant, ignoring the pain that he must be feeling. His eyes are wide open. It looks like he is searching for potential threats.

Yuuri is still trembling.

As soon as he sees me he flinches and puts his arms in front of his face, trying to defend himself.

"Yuuri". My voice is so soft, almost inaudible. I can´t help it. He shivers, tries to move away from me with force. His head hits the wall.

He flinches at the pain.

"Yuuri, it´s me. You´re safe here", I try to get through to him.

I need to calm him down.

The tremor in his hands don´t stop. On his right arm are three large parallel wounds. It looks like someone scratched him really bad. His left elbow is blue. Gisela already gave him all here healing magic. She said, she had to heal the inner ruptures of his organs first. She couldn´t heal his outer wounds besides his swollen eyes, because her energy ran out.

No one can imagine who much I want to be able to heal right now. I hate myself for being this bad at it. I´m so sorry, Yuuri...

I´m so sorry...

Yuuri is still trying to hide from me.

My heart hurts so much. This feeling is ripping me apart.

She... Gisela... she... it´s hard to even think it. She said, that he was... hurt inside. That... some... males... ra.. raped him.

It´s all my fault.

I was meant to protect him.

I can´t help the whimper, that leaves my mouth.

I failed you. I´m so sorry. I´m so so sorry, Yuuri.

"Wolf?", he asks.

He is peeking through his arms.

I nod.

Yuuri lets his arms sink slowly.

His eyes are still wide open.

He doesn´t even blink. Yuuri scans the room with his eyes once more.

After making sure that there is no threat, he loses a little bit of tension.

His gaze searches for me again.

He just looks into my eyes. We don´t say anything. I can´t say anything. My throat feels like it´s corded up. I feel my lower lip tremble. Yuuris whole body is trembling.

"Wolf", he whispers, before tears stream down his face.

He breaks down. He is shivering even more, still keeping his gaze fixated on me.

"I´m so sorry. Wolf! I´m so sorry!".

Why does he apologize? I feel like my heart is ripped out of my chest.

"I didn´t want that! I swear Wolf! I didn´t want it", he says. His words are almost not understandable, because he is speaking so fast.

I feel like I choke on the sorrow in my throat. I need to be strong for him even if I feel like breaking down.

He reaches out to me, grabs my wrist with force. It hurts a little.

"Wolf! You have to believe me, please! I really didn´t want that!", he begs.

I feel like I have to throw up.

I put my other hand on his hand on my wrist.

"I believe you, Yuuri. It´s... it´s not your fault. I know", I say.

I feel fake. Because right now I feel like my world is breaking apart and I try to tell him that everything is okay. Nothing is okay. He just met one of the worst experiences that a person can meet in his life. And it´s my fault for not protecting him.

Yuuri hiccups. Snot and tears are running down his face. His gaze is so desperate. He searches my eyes for lies.

I caress his hand with my thumb.

"Wolf... I... I didn´t... I... They... I...", he stutters.

"I know, Yuuri", I whisper.

He is watching me. It seems like he is asking me, if I´m telling the truth.

I feel like throwing up. My heart hurts even if he is the one with the wounds. This pure boy is suffering so much and it´s my fault. This boy, that I love more than life itself. I was supposed to protect him.

Yuuri is still grabbing my wrist with force. His knuckles are white. He puts too much strength into it. His fingernails press into my skin.

Suddenly he looks down at himself. Pure disgust shows on his face. He lets go of me, stands up from the bed and falls down as soon as he tries to stand on his own feet. His left leg is broken. He can´t go.

"Where do you want to go?", I ask.

"Bath", he says.

He is trembling so much.

I stand up and get to him, grab his arms to help him stand up. He pushes me from himself as soon as I touch him. He whimpers.

"So... sorry", he whispers.

"I will carry you", I say.

My voice shivers.

He puts his arms around my neck and lets me carry him. He starts to choke. I hurry up and carry him.

"Stop!", he begs.

I put him down.

He throws up right there.

I still have my arms around him. He doesn´t stop choking and puking. I caress his back slightly.

"It´s okay. Let it out. It´s okay. It´s okay", I whisper.

I don´t know if I try to calm him or myself.

He stops after throwing up bile.

"I need to clean myself", he whispers.

I nod in understanding and carry him again. He is too weak to push me away this time.

I carry him to the bathroom.

A soldier sees us.

"Tell someone to clean that up", I command before entering the bathroom.

Yuuri should not see it again.

Nothing of this should have happened. Not to him. Not to him. This is my worst nightmare.

I´m so sorry, Yuuri.

It´s all my fault.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~comments~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, here is the next chapter. What do you think? Thanks for leaving me reviews. I really appreciate the feedback. I would love to hear from you. It actually kind of hurt to write this chapter. I felt so sorry for both of them. Since I´m writing three stories right now the updates can take a few days. I hope you understand.

If you are interested to read another fanfic of me, check out asianfanfics . com and search for "Impossible?!" by me (jipsifications). I´m publishing a fanfic about Nyongtory (Seungri and GD of BigBang) there. It´s a romance story.


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